For the past Decade I Have had tinnitus.
Tinnitus is ringing/roaring in the ears, or any other noise your brain decides to make up. Usually it happens most often in people with a hearing loss.
When I was 12-years-old, I didn’t know how to describe to people the noise I was hearing, but it annoyed me quite a bit.
When I was diagnosed with NF2 a doctor told me what that noise was and how there was nothing to do for it.
I thought, “What? I have to live with this racket?” He told me that I would learn to ignore it.
I did. I hardly ever heard the noise unless someone brought my mind back to it and then the noise started in. Funny how that works.
Lately, I have been dealing with the noise every day. Not only is it in my completely deaf ear, but when I started losing hearing in the other ear as well…it started getting Tinnitus too.
The reason it is driving me so crazy is because it is two diferent noises. I have a spaceship in my right ear that won’t go away, and fans, motor, phones, babies crying, people mumbling in my left ear. All of this noise is tinnitus. Not a single thing is real.
The baby crying sounds so real. I used to get up at least 50 times during Isaiah’s naptime and go check on him. I never knew if I really kind of heard him or if it was my brain playing tricks on me.
Whenever he moved into a toddler bed, that was a relief. I knew that if he woke up and wanted out, he would just get out of bed and come to me in thE living room.
The brain is so odd. You would think they could do something about this noise. The more hearing I am losing, the worse the tinnitus gets. Sometimes it’s so loud I feel like my head is going to vibrate wide open.
But, the medical science doesn’t know how to fix this problem yet. I think they have been working on it. But no luck. For now, we people with tinnitus just have to deal with it.
by Yvonne Foong, on 10.25.09 @ 9:18 am
Hi Holly
One big factor of Tinnitus is psychological. We can develop tinnitus even with stress, and without any other Neurological problems. Try not to think about it. I still have Tinnitus and it’s quite bad but I don’t let it bother me. I just accept it as part of life. Maybe this is better than hoping for a cure to tinnitus.
by hollyalonzo, on 10.25.09 @ 12:32 pm
But it does bother me. There is no way to ignor it. I am sitting somwhere in my dark and silent little work. I am not Legally blind bt totally, I see constant blackness. I don’t hear anything unless it’s said right in my ear and even then I still don’t understand it. Then out of nowhere a spaceship gets in my head and will not leave. then I hear Isaiah crying. So I’m constantly getting up to go check on him to see if he woke up. Or ask if he’s around because I think I hear him talking. If I had something to focus on either hearing or vision, then I could ignore this stuff like i used to. If we felt like just not even paying attention to it instead of wish for a cure for everything, nothing would get done. We hope for a cure for NF2 right? And we hope for a cure for Caner, and so many other things. We have to pay attention.