When I found out I was finally pregnant, I was so happy. The day my son was born was one of the happiest days of my life.
I was only blind, and could do anything! Nothing could stand in my way.
Until the doctors at the University of Arkansas’ Medical Science told me what was coming.
The schwannoma on my hearing nerve had grown a lot and needed to come out, leaving me completely deaf as well as already completely blind.
My son was two weeks old, I did not know what I would do. I knew nothing of how to do anything without my hearing. Let alone take care of a baby.
I managed the best I could. I had to ask others how to do it. But asking around I quickly discovered that deaf-blind can mean from low vision and hard of hearing, to deaf and low vision, to me, to someone who is completely deaf and blind, which is where I knew I’d eventually be. There are not many deaf-blind parents who are completely blind.
There is one lady that is completely DB and she told me a few things she did. But really I had no help with this. It was up to me and Isaiah to figure this out and prove to everyone that a deaf-blind person could be just as good of a parent as others.
I started to sign the few words that I did know when I would speak to him when he was around 4 months old. I would just simple sign “milk”, “nap”, “mommy”, etc. I just needed him to learn short words to sort of give me an idea.
I could still hear fairly well whenever Isaiah started speaking his first words. If I didn’t know what he was trying to tell me, I would ask another hearing person around me such as Edward or my Mom.
When Isaiah was 9 months old, we moved to North Carolina. Edward had gotten a job. I would be alone with Isaiah all day every day. This was not a problem because I am a confident parent.
My hearing began to get worse as the weeks passed. My balance got worse as well. It was hard for me to walk around and play with him, so I would get in the floor and crawl around instead. He naturally stayed close to me so that we could play.
After always signing short words while speaking to him, he picked up on those signs very quickly. When my hearing began to get worse, he used them a lot to make his point known.
Instead of saying, “ I want milk.” He would sign, “milk” Then I would ask him if he wanted milk. He would sign, “yes” His sign is not in complete sentences, but that is ok. At least I knew what he was saying.
When he doesn’t know the sign for something, he will get his point a crossed to me in some way. He will act it out, bring it to me, or drag me to the room it is in and have me pick him up so he can reach it.
Kids adapt so easily, and Isaiah doesn’t think of me as deaf-blind. He just knows that I am the one who takes care of him, it may be different than other mommy’s but he doesn’t know that. All he knows is that I’m his mommy, and we love each other dearly.
There are no instruction manuals to being a deaf-blind parent. Many would assume tat we can’t do it, but I am hear to show we can. Isaiah and I made things up as we went along. We didn’t know what would work for us, but with trial and error we found things that did. Whenever we found something that worked for communication or otherwise, we stuck with it.
Now we are back in Arkansas near my parents. Isaiah enjoys spending time with them, and it is good for him. He has worked it out in his head that I am the only one he needs to sign to. He does it naturally. He will talk to others, and does not do the things he does with me. Isaiah has gotten very smart because of this. I believe that this has opened another area of his mind, already. He gets the experience of a deaf-blind person from me, blind from Edward, and hearing-sighted from my parents and others. He can adapt to anything!
He is very bright, and because of this brightness things might be a little more difficult for me. His mind wants to do things that his hands and body can’t and causes frustration. I want to encourage him to learn, but yet I want him to be safe or do things the right way.
This journey of parenthood is not over. It has only begun. Isaiah and I have several years to work out anything and find things that work. Being a deaf-blind mother is more difficult, but it can still be done. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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