Blind people have things in order for the most part. When that order gets messed up, bad things can happen.
Edward and I always put things back where we got them, and make sure all chairs are pushed in before we leave, things in the floor are picked up so we don’t trip.
I had an aid that was coming to help me with a few house chores a few hours a day. I can do these tasks on my own, but it would take a much longer time and I haven’t learned to take my time and be patient yet. Although, the deaf-blind life will eventually teach me this. She would do things like sweep and mop the kitchen floor, vacuum the living room, and anything else that would be difficult with bad balance.
My first aid didn’t do what she was supposed to. She would just sit around and talk on her phone, or something else that I’m not sure of because I can’t see to find out for certain, and can’t hear well enough to hear what she is doing.
I requested a new aid. They sent another lady that was younger. They told me she could sign. She got here and her voice is right at the perfect tone that I can’t hear at all. She couldn’t sign. I had to hold my hand out and let her write everything. This was especially difficult because she wouldn’t listen when I told her to go slow and big.
She came back the next day and I was going to the kitchen to make my son some oatmeal. The aid wasn’t even supposed to be in the kitchen on this particular day. I get over the baby gate and start walking toward the table. My right leg, which is weak, hits something and that makes me lose my balance even more and I fell.
I didn’t just half way fall. I completely lost all balance and there was nothing to catch myself with. We have an island in the middle of the kitchen. I fell and hit my right cheekbone on that. All of my body weight was falling, and there was nothing that caught me except my face on the island counter. I’m just thankful it wasn’t the corner.
It was the most horrific sound. “Crack!” and then I got extremely dizzy, and my head was roaring. I couldn’t hear anything for few seconds except the roar. Slowly hearing began to come back and Isaiah was crying. I pushed my self up even though I was shaking, to see what was wrong with him.
Nothing was wrong with him. He didn’t fall. He just saw me fall and it must have scared him. I let him know I was ok and didn’t make a big deal out of it for his sake, but I could already feel my face swelling.
I knew this was going to leave a bruise, and I knew I had to go to the dentist later in the day. If anyone sees a bruise on a woman, they immediately suspect the husband put it there. Especially with the location on this one. So I called Edward at work and let him know if I should still go. He said yeah, but wanted to know what happened. I told him that I would tell him when he got home.
I put ice on it for a long time to try to get the swelling down. Then I tried my best to cover it with make-up before I went out. I guess I did a good enough job, because no one mentioned it.
I wish I had someone to take a picture and show you all. The mark is still there. I have a big ugly bruise now, and it ‘s very sore even for me to touch it.
I called the agency that provided the aid and told them I wanted to cancel my services. I don’t want an aid anymore. I will do the chores myself, even if it takes me four times as long. I just have to remember to pace myself and that will make it a little easier on the balance.
Edward was really ticked off because the fall was the aids fault. He asked where the chair was so I told him and he didn’t quite understand. So I went and showed him. He was like me, “what was it doing way over here? What for?” He wanted to know why she didn’t tell me that there was a chair in the middle of the floor. I told him I didn’t know but I had already canceled them.
Why can’t people put things back where they got them? There are so many things that I can’t find because the aids put them in strange places. I found a measuring cup in the pantry, and the bowl down with the pans. I’ll never understand why if they don’t know where something goes to ask and find out. Don’t just stick it anywhere it will fit.
Having help made things harder for me and Edward because we never knew where anything was. We thought about quitting the service for that reason alone. But me falling and hitting my head was the last straw.
by Carin, on 04.03.09 @ 6:14 am
I can feel a roaring in my head too, but it’s bubbling, boiling rage! What an explitive explitive explitive! And the fact that she didn’t come see what happened to you or feel bad about what she did….oooo!
That is the principal reason I will never get cleaning help. My mom was convinced that I should get it just because I can’t see, and I told her no.
I had a friend of a friend come over once, and he decided to rearrange all my stuff. Let’s just say I cracked my head off a garbage can. That man will never be allowed back inside my house for that reason among others.
Good! Freakin! Lord!
by Yvonne Foong, on 04.04.09 @ 3:57 pm
I too, have such problems, but not with things all over the place since I can still see. My mom likes to put things everywhere and on the floor and they do trip me from time to time. But I can’t do anything about my mom. She is 60 and won’t listen. So I just want to move out and live on my own soon.
As for the similar experience, it has to be with my deafness. When I first became deaf, it was very difficult because on Malaysia, people don’t and can’t understand why a deaf person can speak. When I tell them, “I am deaf, please write what you say,’ they would think I am not serious and keep talking to me.
Or people would not remember that I am deaf and keep talking, expecting me to hear them eventually. So I make it a point these days to tell people right away that I am deaf although I can speak. So write to me. I’d show them the marker and whiteboard. If they speak still, I won’t answer and just stare at them.
Have you briefed the aids on what they can do and cannot do the moment they arrived? Because people cannot imagine what it is like to live without sight unless we tell them and remind them.
by hollyalonzo, on 04.04.09 @ 5:21 pm
Hi Karen. Yes, I can see how you would understand the frustration of a cleaning person messing things up. I still can’t find the lid to one of Isaiah’s sippy cup.
Yvonne, I can see how it would be difficult for your mom to understand when you tell her to pick things up, but hopefully you’ll be on you own soon like you said and won’t have to deal with that much.
I have talked with the aids whenever they first get here. The first day is usually just me going over what I need help with and how importnt it is not to move things for blind people. Also how they must come up and touch me if I call their name. Answering me from across the house won’t do me any good. They all seemed to understand everything whenever I explain these things.
But they don’t listen the next day, and days after that. They do things that I told them not to do, and make things harder for me.
You can tell people something over and over and they don’t listen. It’s very irritating.
I know what you mean about people not taking youseriously about being deaf. Even though I can hear a bit, I am still considered deaf. I can not understand people.
When I tell them that I am deaf, or that I can’t hear very well and can’t understand what they are saying, they all tell me “You can talk good.”
I said, “what? what does that have to do with anything?” I guess since I talk normal, they all think I should be able to hear just fine.
I do find myself talking slower and more clear now. I guess I think that since I can’t hear and need this to be done, everyone does.
by Carin, on 04.05.09 @ 9:54 am
Yeah everybody thinks that every deaf person has that speech impediment thing going on. another stereotype that isn’t accurate.